Saturday, September 22, 2012

The End of CIM Training

When you're unemployed, what else is there to do but run? Surprisingly, a lot. 

CIM Training: Week 6 (week of Sept. 17)

Goal: 11 mi. easy
Actual: 8.25 mi. trail

The first thing I joked about when my job ended is that I no longer needed to get up before sunrise to run before work. And what did I do on my first day of run-employment? 

I got up at 5:30a.m. to run trails with Aron.

I spent a few days in the East Bay dogsitting on my break from working, and sure enough, Aron was up for some trail miles before her workday. Luckily, I got to go right back to sleep once we were done.

The trails were a little dark when we first started,
but the park brightened up in no time.

Goal: Rest
Actual: Rest

I may not have worked on this day & I may not have run on this day, but I spent the entire day emailing people, calling contacts, filling out agency forms, wearing out a dog, and it ended up being a very busy day.

Jana's fun-loving pup, Leonard.

Leonard & my cat, Chachi, are good buddies.

Goal: 8 mi. w/ 4 @ LT
Actual: Rest

I had another insanely busy day -- one that ended with a trip to the emergency vet because Chachi's face swelled up. Another rest day when I fantasized I'd be doing more running.

Goal: Rest
Actual: 10 mi. easy

Nothing to this run. After some meetings with a new agency in the morning, I headed out in the afternoon sun for some easy miles to think and reflect. I'm really worried about my cat.

Goal: 5 mi. easy
Actual: Rest

I brought my cat into a specialty vet on Friday morning, and I got the most heartbreaking news I could have heard. Chachi has aggressive cancer in his mouth, it's spread to his naval cavity, and is on the way to his brain. There's nothing that can be done. The vet estimates he has 4 to 6 more weeks to live.

I broke down. And sobbed. And sobbed some more.

When I moved to California 2 years ago, my mom asked me if I wanted to leave my 12-year-old cat behind until I settled in. No way, I said. He is the only thing I want to bring with me. So that's what we did. I packed everything I could fit into my car, but not until I made sure there was space for Chachi.

Now, at a spry 14 years and change, he's going to be leaving. I made the decision to adopt him as a kitten, and now I need to make the decision on when he'll go.

If the vet is correct, Chachi will start his decline very rapidly -- something I don't think I'll ever be prepared to see. Four to 6 weeks from now is right around the time of the Humboldt marathon. I don't want to speak too soon, but there's no way I can leave my sick cat for a weekend to run a selfish (birthday) marathon knowing my roommate would have to give him his medication. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to him while I was gone. Taking this long of a break isn't entirely conducive to running CIM either, so for now I'm not planning on running that as well.

So for the duration of Chachi's life, I am going to be here for him; I'm going to spoil him, hug him, kiss him, play with him, cuddle him, feed him ice cream, tell him I love him so often that he thinks it's his new name, and I'm not going to leave him. Perhaps this break from work was exactly what I needed to be around him & comfort him during the last miles of his life.

I am so devastated, and a marathon seems pointless to me right now. I'm going to shelf all training for the time being, take the break from heavy mileage I've been wanting, and make the remainder of Chachi's life as awesome as I humanly can.

Thanks in advance for all your thoughts and prayers. I can't say I'll be online much in the immediate future, but please know your support is appreciated.


Lil Chachi